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To order your copy of "Principa Discordia" Send these guys Money or an Offering to: IllumiNet Press PO Box 9002 Atlanta, GA 31106 |
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| The Internet used to be Fun. |
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I remember the days of obscurity.
"Hey, check out my BBS at 123.123.123", then it became http://blah-blah-blah-dot-whatever.
And it also was checking out the latest newsgroups.
It was real personal back then. It was you, a computer, a modem, and your bulletin board.
Then HTML came on the scene and you were albe to click on "Next" for the next page to check out files, photos, what-have-you. Now we have hand held devices, moble pocket PCs, personal communitcation systems (which is just a glorified cellular phone). You can check your stocks, weather, what's playing at the theater, email your friends, and browse the web while on the local mass transit system. You can even log onto a Global Positioning System to tell you where you are just in case you forgot where you are. You can do all these things even while you are in gridlocked, bumper to bumper traffic, or sipping your double, lite, decaff, skinny latte at a cafe. All the things we do to turn off what is around us. Pull out your laptop and watch a movie on DVD. Alphanumeric pagers that lets you communicate with friends, but never actually meet them. Broadband, High-Speed Access, DSL, Cablemodems, ISDN, 128k, 56k dedicated lines, 24/7 firewalls, look at your neighbors vacation pics. $39.99 per month for dual channel ISDN access, $50 per month for my CDPD handheld, $19.99 per month for my pager, $34.99 per month for my PCS moble digital phone with 500 million local long distance minutes free - sorry, no rollovers. Another $24.95 per month so that I can check my stocks and read email from my PCS phone. Here a battery, there a battery, everywhere a battery. Lithium, nickel cadmium, nickel hydride, alkaline. Remember to recharge or you can't enjoy browsing the web while on the bus. Banners, banners, banners - you too could win if you punch the monkey. Sign up your friends and family. Big Brother wants to know who you are and how many of you too. Send this to 10 people and make a wish or else you die. Send me a dollar and I'll add you to a list. Get money just by opening email or surfing. Money for nothing and all the porn pics for free. Don't you want your Internet? Start a dot com, go public, and you too can become an instant millionaire. Get bought out by a bigger online corporation. But now the house of cards is falling. Sensory overload - throw it all away. Wait till you get home to check your email on your 99 Gigahertz PC with 999 Megabites of RAM and the superduper Whodoo 4D graphics card and wrap-around, surround sound card with the sub-woofer and nice speaker system. It also has a 500 Terabite hard drive. And all I do is play DOOM with my friends online. Hee-Hee. |
| Hail Eris ! |
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Join the Cabal of Pandemic Stillness Offered by the Inconsistent Society of Decimated Nothingness (Pope!) Eye M. the Fallen ? is waiting. |
| (Pope!) Eye M. says: "Recycle your pets." |